From the reading on Teaching Emotional Intelligence in the Business School Curriculum and from my testing results I realized that in general emotions could give you a headache. I believe what Peter Drucker said, that self-management is the primary skill for success at work. It is something you develop on your own. There are a lot of steps, but you need to learn self-awareness and how to change behaviors and feelings if necessary. It is important to interact with others and explore to find out your answers. It is nice, for you have your data in front of your from just interacting and managing your self on a daily basis.
I wish we had a Self-management course like Quinnipiac University. I feel like those who would take the class seriously can get a lot out of it. It is a great learning experience to find out about you, your achievements, ways of conducting conflicts, opens your awareness of behavior, and others.
From my results on this test I was in the 87th percentile. These test fascinate me, they really get you thinking about how you break situations down in your head. Most of the time, the answer you receive can be very close to who you really are. I learned that intelligent people have an easy time overcoming situations and their able to control their moods. But can you really say this? Everyone is different but there are also sayings that some intelligent people don’t have common sense and vice versa. In the end, going through this 106 questing test and reading my results and the reading got me thinking about how I act. I am very friendly and can deal with others emotions but I am learning more and more about emotions and how to handle certain situations in pointing out (in addition) certain flaws that I have, that I can work on to help improve my situations I face in my daily life. Improving my flaws and working to become more confident on my emotions it will lead me to success later in life. Getting out in the real world after college you work with people and their personalities that might not always match yours. Not being set in a classroom can open your eyes to new learning experiences and can only help you as a person.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Interpersonal Communication and Conflict
Communicating to someone else when in a conflict can be very difficult and stressful. In some ways it seems like there is no way out because you and the other person have such strong view point that it seems impossible to come to a conclusion. In those cases you must take a breath, step back, and give your self-time to cool down. It is healthier and reduces conflict so both you and the other person can think the argument over.
Communication techniques that I use to reduce my conflicts is I listen to what they have to say and usually I’ll respond saying “I understand what you are trying to say but, …” or many times especially if the conflict is really heated I walk away and basically say I am not dealing with this right now. I do get heated so in order to calm myself down I have to walk away and think about what I want to say first. I do tend to be very blunt which is not always the best answer. From those responses I choose to use to reduce my conflicts, I notice they can be unhealthy choices. For then my situation is still not over, and the conflict is still there. On the other hand, the first one I mentioned about agreeing with them and restating my view is a healthy choice.
Everyone is different and takes situations into their own frame of reference on how they want to deal with it. Conflicts are never easy, but it is something we all face every single day in our lives.
Communication techniques that I use to reduce my conflicts is I listen to what they have to say and usually I’ll respond saying “I understand what you are trying to say but, …” or many times especially if the conflict is really heated I walk away and basically say I am not dealing with this right now. I do get heated so in order to calm myself down I have to walk away and think about what I want to say first. I do tend to be very blunt which is not always the best answer. From those responses I choose to use to reduce my conflicts, I notice they can be unhealthy choices. For then my situation is still not over, and the conflict is still there. On the other hand, the first one I mentioned about agreeing with them and restating my view is a healthy choice.
Everyone is different and takes situations into their own frame of reference on how they want to deal with it. Conflicts are never easy, but it is something we all face every single day in our lives.
Self-Disclosure and Social Networking
After reading this article it made me realize that maybe I should check my Facebook to double check that I don’t have too much information about myself. More then what is said on social networks and who sees what (which is still an issue) living is more important. I do watch whom I add on Facebook and whom I accept requests from. In today’s world you can hardly trust anyone and there are way too many incidents where girls and mothers are getting raped, strangled and killed, or like the Tyler Clementi incident, committing suicide.
No one really knows the true dangers when networking with others, displaying information, and constantly updating your status onto what you are doing. There are many creepy men and women that will stalk you, kill you, or what Keri McMullen went through, had items stolen from her house. Now days many people especially the younger crowd are way too reveling about their information. If you ever look on a high school kids Facebook page, in most cases you can see their page even though your not friends with them. Also, they have information posted from where they are to what they like to do, how old they are, where they go to school, and so much more. The safety of everyone is cut back now that we have displayed some to a lot of information depending on the person on Facebook, Twitter, and all those other networking sites. You can find anything on the Internet and were one of many out there.
No one really knows the true dangers when networking with others, displaying information, and constantly updating your status onto what you are doing. There are many creepy men and women that will stalk you, kill you, or what Keri McMullen went through, had items stolen from her house. Now days many people especially the younger crowd are way too reveling about their information. If you ever look on a high school kids Facebook page, in most cases you can see their page even though your not friends with them. Also, they have information posted from where they are to what they like to do, how old they are, where they go to school, and so much more. The safety of everyone is cut back now that we have displayed some to a lot of information depending on the person on Facebook, Twitter, and all those other networking sites. You can find anything on the Internet and were one of many out there.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Listening Skills
I feel I am a people centered listener. When ever I am in a conversation with someone my attention is on them majority of the time, unless I am in a rush to get somewhere. I actually care what they are saying and I would like it back in return. But naturally I take everything in and really get a feel to what their saying. I am not the kind of person to just pretend I’m listening and blow it off.
I learned this approach from my family. I grew up (majority of the time) being around my entire mom side of the family, cousins, aunts, uncles, and my nana and grandpa. I feel that because we are Italian and all very close to one another I developed a strong care and compaction for others. Were always hugging and when we see each other we give a kiss on the cheek to say hello and goodbye. My mom’s side can talk for HOURS so we always shared our feelings and talked about what is going on.
This works in almost all situations and it works for me, except if you are talking to someone on a professional level, in a job, etc. I personally know that when I am talking, I want to know if I have your full attention. I’ll ask you sometimes “are you listening?” or I will just stop talking until they say something. It means a lot to some people. Many have the same feel about it. Knowing you can talk to someone and count on him or her is very important, it might not always be important but just for the satisfaction.
There have been a few times that I have experienced people centered listening and content centered listening. One of my best friends Kat goes to school in Florida and there was one night recently that she was really upset because of a guy and without saying it she tried to deny it. I am really observant just naturally, and knowing my best friend I can tell in her voice and her tone that something was not right. Given, I was not focusing all my attention on her because of the distraction in her voice. I was truly concerned, for I know she has been missing home pretty badly. Within four minutes of her talking I asked if everything was okay. However, she tried brushing it off, kind of ignoring it and said “I’m fine.” Then she got mad at me because she thought I was not paying attention. What I went through was people-centered listening to figure out and analyze how she was saying things. On the other hand, when claiming I was not listening she expressed she wanted me to actually listen to what she was saying by using content centered listening. I now know to come that there are some people that would prefer you to focus on what they are saying, than how they are saying it.
I learned this approach from my family. I grew up (majority of the time) being around my entire mom side of the family, cousins, aunts, uncles, and my nana and grandpa. I feel that because we are Italian and all very close to one another I developed a strong care and compaction for others. Were always hugging and when we see each other we give a kiss on the cheek to say hello and goodbye. My mom’s side can talk for HOURS so we always shared our feelings and talked about what is going on.
This works in almost all situations and it works for me, except if you are talking to someone on a professional level, in a job, etc. I personally know that when I am talking, I want to know if I have your full attention. I’ll ask you sometimes “are you listening?” or I will just stop talking until they say something. It means a lot to some people. Many have the same feel about it. Knowing you can talk to someone and count on him or her is very important, it might not always be important but just for the satisfaction.
There have been a few times that I have experienced people centered listening and content centered listening. One of my best friends Kat goes to school in Florida and there was one night recently that she was really upset because of a guy and without saying it she tried to deny it. I am really observant just naturally, and knowing my best friend I can tell in her voice and her tone that something was not right. Given, I was not focusing all my attention on her because of the distraction in her voice. I was truly concerned, for I know she has been missing home pretty badly. Within four minutes of her talking I asked if everything was okay. However, she tried brushing it off, kind of ignoring it and said “I’m fine.” Then she got mad at me because she thought I was not paying attention. What I went through was people-centered listening to figure out and analyze how she was saying things. On the other hand, when claiming I was not listening she expressed she wanted me to actually listen to what she was saying by using content centered listening. I now know to come that there are some people that would prefer you to focus on what they are saying, than how they are saying it.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Identity Management
Identity Management is how we handle ourselves in any kind of situation. It identifies us as a person; furthermore, it is how others perceive us. One that fits this description was the Last Lecture.
I was very taken back by speaker Randy Paush who delivered The Last Lecture. More so every little thing he said hit me personally. I can relate to him through past and present family issues that I’m dealing with. My grandpa died in a year of finding out he was diagnosed of Lung Cancer, and my cousin is currently battling a brain tumor at age 31. I feel Randy did an incredible job speaking with all the facework he presented. He had so much to offer matching non-verbal and verbal between his advice and everything he has accomplished throughout his years.
He found a frame of reference to connect with everyone it seemed like. When the cameras went back and forth from Paush to the audience many were intrigued, and I too never thought for one minute that there was a non-interesting section or sentence. I did notice the audience identified him in a softer way through non-verbal cues, yet thought of him very powerful as well. The audience was laughing, some tearing, leaning forward, all taking it directly.
Once he mentioned his disease he automatically put it out there of how strong he truly is, mentally, spiritually, and physically, which also falls into the implicit personality theory. In most cases people make assumptions right off the bat. For instance in this case, many like mine thought, why isn’t he hurting? Does he not realize the disease and time?
Something that interests me is the Halo effect. Halo effect means a perception of ones trait that is influenced by another trait. In Randy’s speech he put out there how he has limited time on the earth but switched into a positive direction by putting the spotlight on dreams he had as a child. Listing all of his dreams from zero gravity to doing what seemed to be the impossible was incredible. More so when he did not have to say much but mentally he could paint you a picture and show you images, and gestures that made you feel like you knew exactly what he was talking about and felt like you were apart of his life. His variety of ways of communication he gave out, to me was inspiring.
I was very taken back by speaker Randy Paush who delivered The Last Lecture. More so every little thing he said hit me personally. I can relate to him through past and present family issues that I’m dealing with. My grandpa died in a year of finding out he was diagnosed of Lung Cancer, and my cousin is currently battling a brain tumor at age 31. I feel Randy did an incredible job speaking with all the facework he presented. He had so much to offer matching non-verbal and verbal between his advice and everything he has accomplished throughout his years.
He found a frame of reference to connect with everyone it seemed like. When the cameras went back and forth from Paush to the audience many were intrigued, and I too never thought for one minute that there was a non-interesting section or sentence. I did notice the audience identified him in a softer way through non-verbal cues, yet thought of him very powerful as well. The audience was laughing, some tearing, leaning forward, all taking it directly.
Once he mentioned his disease he automatically put it out there of how strong he truly is, mentally, spiritually, and physically, which also falls into the implicit personality theory. In most cases people make assumptions right off the bat. For instance in this case, many like mine thought, why isn’t he hurting? Does he not realize the disease and time?
Something that interests me is the Halo effect. Halo effect means a perception of ones trait that is influenced by another trait. In Randy’s speech he put out there how he has limited time on the earth but switched into a positive direction by putting the spotlight on dreams he had as a child. Listing all of his dreams from zero gravity to doing what seemed to be the impossible was incredible. More so when he did not have to say much but mentally he could paint you a picture and show you images, and gestures that made you feel like you knew exactly what he was talking about and felt like you were apart of his life. His variety of ways of communication he gave out, to me was inspiring.
Technology and Interpersonal Communication
Assumption 1: Online discussions promote self-orientation.
However you want to display/promote yourself is completely up to you. Who’s ever page it is has complete control. That person can decide what they want to accept or don’t except, something as in what to display and who can see it. Security is based on the person. As for conversations, it is different than talking face to face. Facebook aim chats gives you the opportunity to talk to whomever may be on Facebook at that moment and if someone “IMS” you if you want to respond. In addition, you can login or logout whenever you want. There are no demands in this situation unlike if the person came up to you face to face. Online discussions often prompt introspection.
Assumption 2: Computer screen can deceive.
This is a true assumption and applies to Facebook completely. There are many instances where others can get someone’s email and information and “pretend” to be someone else and do whatever they want to their page. Some do this to get back at someone else, because it is funny, and or they want to steal someone else’s identity. With today’s technology it is extremely important that you know what you are doing, what information you are giving out, and have the ability to trust your friends.
Assumption 3: This assumption relates to when we send personal messages back and forth to one another through Facebook. Many incidents occur when you and a friend are fighting or an ex goes crazy and sends you a private message. A lot of times this happens when the person doesn’t want to physically talk to you. On the other hand it can be difficult for a way message is written and prompt another discussion because of how you delivered your words in that message. It is important to think about the message and make sure you interpreted it correctly.
Assumption 4: Self-disclosure occurs online.
Back to what I said about displaying and promoting yourself, you have the option to share whatever you want with whomever you want. Anyone can share anything on Facebook with the list of options it provides, whether you fill out all the information or none of it. Personally, I fill out only certain things that I feel when applying to jobs and etc that can benefit me in some way when someone might be tracking down my Facebook to glance and see what information is provided.
Other concepts:
The internet has come so far and still today is progressing with our enhancement of education accessibility all of our information does not just come from books but the internet. Think of how often we use Google on a daily basis…in most situations we mostly deal with all technology. For instances with certain technology were always on our emails, Skype names, any Aim Screen names we have, etc. Like Facebook these different ways of communication you must be careful as well. Many people passwords and usernames get found and certain people unfortunally take advantage of that. On the other hand, when the point comes to finding a job, or an internship, whatever is on the internet can be found and could potentially be held against you. It is by law that we have our right to privacy but yet anyone can find anything about you. In today’s society nothing is ever private, also known as private security. In addition to these sites we communicate on, this generation today tends to “Abbreviated our language” It causes problems for when we forget how to spell a word writing a paper or sending emails to friends and professors. But a lot of the people not in our generation but older do not pick up on our language that most teenagers and young adults say now a days.
Write literally: It is extremely important when communicating with someone that when you say something that you say it correctly. If you are not talking face to face things can be interrupted the wrong way. The tone of voice is important, for you do not know if it is being said sarcastically or they actually mean it. Furthermore, when on Facebook or blogging, anyone can read what you’re saying. It can be trouble and you could embarrass yourself.
However you want to display/promote yourself is completely up to you. Who’s ever page it is has complete control. That person can decide what they want to accept or don’t except, something as in what to display and who can see it. Security is based on the person. As for conversations, it is different than talking face to face. Facebook aim chats gives you the opportunity to talk to whomever may be on Facebook at that moment and if someone “IMS” you if you want to respond. In addition, you can login or logout whenever you want. There are no demands in this situation unlike if the person came up to you face to face. Online discussions often prompt introspection.
Assumption 2: Computer screen can deceive.
This is a true assumption and applies to Facebook completely. There are many instances where others can get someone’s email and information and “pretend” to be someone else and do whatever they want to their page. Some do this to get back at someone else, because it is funny, and or they want to steal someone else’s identity. With today’s technology it is extremely important that you know what you are doing, what information you are giving out, and have the ability to trust your friends.
Assumption 3: This assumption relates to when we send personal messages back and forth to one another through Facebook. Many incidents occur when you and a friend are fighting or an ex goes crazy and sends you a private message. A lot of times this happens when the person doesn’t want to physically talk to you. On the other hand it can be difficult for a way message is written and prompt another discussion because of how you delivered your words in that message. It is important to think about the message and make sure you interpreted it correctly.
Assumption 4: Self-disclosure occurs online.
Back to what I said about displaying and promoting yourself, you have the option to share whatever you want with whomever you want. Anyone can share anything on Facebook with the list of options it provides, whether you fill out all the information or none of it. Personally, I fill out only certain things that I feel when applying to jobs and etc that can benefit me in some way when someone might be tracking down my Facebook to glance and see what information is provided.
Other concepts:
The internet has come so far and still today is progressing with our enhancement of education accessibility all of our information does not just come from books but the internet. Think of how often we use Google on a daily basis…in most situations we mostly deal with all technology. For instances with certain technology were always on our emails, Skype names, any Aim Screen names we have, etc. Like Facebook these different ways of communication you must be careful as well. Many people passwords and usernames get found and certain people unfortunally take advantage of that. On the other hand, when the point comes to finding a job, or an internship, whatever is on the internet can be found and could potentially be held against you. It is by law that we have our right to privacy but yet anyone can find anything about you. In today’s society nothing is ever private, also known as private security. In addition to these sites we communicate on, this generation today tends to “Abbreviated our language” It causes problems for when we forget how to spell a word writing a paper or sending emails to friends and professors. But a lot of the people not in our generation but older do not pick up on our language that most teenagers and young adults say now a days.
Write literally: It is extremely important when communicating with someone that when you say something that you say it correctly. If you are not talking face to face things can be interrupted the wrong way. The tone of voice is important, for you do not know if it is being said sarcastically or they actually mean it. Furthermore, when on Facebook or blogging, anyone can read what you’re saying. It can be trouble and you could embarrass yourself.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Miami Wedding Planner Blog
Adaptation Theory
My first conversation I conducted was between my best friend kat who is going to school in Florida. We are both going through similar situations with guys and long distance relationships. My second conversation was with my mom who does not know too much information but knows how I feel and tries to give her view upon it from a mother’s perspective. My third conversation was then between myself and I containing my thoughts, and the thoughts from my best friend and my mother. I noticed that my best friend Kat took it to heart. Her tone of voice was really sad and low, you can tell she was very upset with the situation and how hard it is to try and keep a long distance relationship. If her words weren’t obvious enough… when we Skyped her facial expression seemed to be not like her usual perky self, including her gesturing (which was toned down). We both felt the same way, and both of us feeded off of one another, from our voice, to facial expressions and even how we carried ourselves through the day. On the other hand, when speaking to my mom I could not show her how down I was, and I also couldn’t not use certain words with my mom that I would use with my best friend Kat. Let alone, mothers usually do not know too many details like a best friend would. However, when I spoke to my mother I talked with a different tone, I noticed she seemed concerned but tried to show me her view upon it by saying that “you two left on a good note and it is always best to leave it on a good note” “Live your life and know if it was meant to be it will happen”. You can see the situation between Kat and my mother is very different. My last conversation was with myself, which I noticed to be more open, simple, very quick conversations with a mild tone voice, but did not use any gesturing what’s’ so ever. I saw that in all three conversations there were slight adjustments with the people I was talking to.
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